I oscillate between moments of contentment and extreme emotional distress. I wish I could control it better, but I suppose I've always been one to go to extremes. I don't really know how to halfway do things, so I'm either in turbo drive or I'm not going anywhere. I haven't figured out yet how to harness my energy and make it consistent. This is particularly a struggle in spiritual matters. I find myself going through periods of zeal and vigor followed by shear ladeocean laziness.
I also find that I seem to be out of sych with people sometimes. Something that seems like a fair sacrifice or a worthy challenge or an obvious reaction will seem like going overboard to others. I don't mind this, but I do wonder if I really am a bit crazy.
If I could just permanently switch myself onto extreme God-seaking mode, I'd be golden. In the meantime, I'll continue to struggle with myself.
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