Beauty in the Breakdown

Standing on the porch, watching the rain fall--not the soft diamond-drops of an overcast day, but the violent downpour of a desperate, emotional storm--she turns to me with absolute calm. "It's alright; there's beauty in the breakdown."

I look back at the rain, ripping through the grass lawn and leaving puddles of mud to flash back reflections of lighting. They are song lyrics that have been stuck in my head for days. "I love the rain," I say. The lyrics are true. Emotional drama today, but new beginnings tomorrow. Tomorrow the grass will be greener, the trees fuller--reaching toward a sun that seems as if it will always shine.

"Jonah was shipwrecked and in the belly of a great fish for three days and nights, but afterwards..." Her voice is lost in the crying of the wind.

"...But afterwards, a whole nation repented."

"Do you fear the storm?"

Do I? I have to think about this. "I always say I'll take the good with the bad."

She laughs. "That's something people say in good times."

And now? In the middle of this whirlwind of lightning and thunder? Despite the rain, I can hear voices from inside the house. Trickles of laughter and memories of smiles. I know them, all of them. They make me feel warm despite the cool dampness of the air. God says to fear nothing but Him. God speaks in the gentle quiet of those voices. Together we are stronger.

"No, I don't fear it."

"But it hurts, right?"

I close my eyes, let the full force of my deeper emotions take me. "Yes. It hurts."

She is quiet now. I open my eyes again, take a step toward the front steps. A fine spray of water prickles my skin. The trees bend at impossible angles with the force of the wind, but somehow, they stay standing. It is beautiful, in its way. The powerful energy of it, the strength of the things that survive, the reshaping of the world in the turmoil of a short time, and the hope of tomorrow. The confidence that the sun really will shine again. And then? What then? Endless possibilities and an overflowing of adventure. And eventually... the Kingdom.

I won't be afraid. The rain won't wash me away. I was here before and I'll be here after, rebuilt into something better. I nod to her and smile, despite it all. And then, I step out into the rain.

It's alright; there's beauty in the breakdown.